“Thinking is my fighting.”
Success is somebody else’s failure. Success is the American Dream we can keep dreaming because most people in most places, including thirty million of ourselves, live wide awake in the terrible reality of poverty. No, I do not wish you success. I don’t even want to talk about it. I want to talk about failure.
Because you are human beings you are going to meet failure. You are going to meet disappointment, injustice, betrayal, and irreparable loss. You will find you’re weak where you thought yourself strong. You’ll work for possessions and then find they possess you. You will find yourself — as I know you already have — in dark places, alone, and afraid.
What I hope for you, for all my sisters and daughters, brothers and sons, is that you will be able to live there, in the dark place. To live in the place that our rationalizing culture of success denies, calling it a place of exile, uninhabitable, foreign.”
“Frogman, I lost my best friend the other day. I was the one who found her, and I just. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not really sure why I'm messaging a complete stranger. How do you deal with grief?”
I lost my best friend almost 5 years ago. It is a different kind of grief when you lose a close friend. I’ve lost family before. Elderly relatives that lived long lives. And while those deaths made me very sad, it wasn’t quite the same. It wasn’t as intense. I think when you find another human being, of which you have no blood relation, and still choose to share your life with them… it is a very special thing.
I could rattle off cliches and platitudes that we’ve all heard before… but when they were said to me they didn’t help much. The most relevant one might be “time heals all wounds.” The passage of time really was the only significant thing that made the loss easier. But I found that the wound never really heals. The pain dulls and eventually you can filter it out when you need to. But then something will trigger a memory of your friend and that wound will burst open again.
I don’t say this to bum you out or leave you without hope. I just don’t think it is beneficial to sugarcoat how hard it can be to grieve a friend. I can say that there will come a time when you can more easily cope with the pain. You will get to a point where your memories of your friend don’t always make you sad. Sometimes you will look back and really appreciate that time you had with them. Thoughts of them might even force a smile on your face you didn’t think possible.
I guess if I had one piece of advice to give, it would be to not fight the sadness. I think that was my biggest mistake in the beginning. I thought I could somehow use my mental powers to fight off the sadness—like a knight facing a dragon. For me, all this did was make me both angry and sad.
I learned that sadness is not a singular entity that can be defeated. It is more like a series of waves crashing into you. Some of them are huge. Some of them are more manageable. And if you resist them it just makes it hurt more when they smack into you.
Eventually, when I felt a wave of intense sadness coming on, I would just let it happen. I would let it wash over me and give into it. I would cry my tears; I would feel my feels. When the intensity lessened it felt almost cathartic. I avoided that anger.
I am very sorry for your loss.
It is going to suck for a while.
But it is okay to be sad.
Perhaps you can think of your despair as one last epic display of love for your friend. It shows that your love for them was so profound that their loss caused an explosion of grief that will resonate within your physical and mental self for the rest of your days.
Which means they will always be a part of you.
we’re taking a group of people who have insider knowledge of the English language (or at least a good grasp of it) and placing them in a new, unfamiliar, virtual space. This space introduces visual aids to language in the form of photos and gifs, the ability to comment on someone else’s text in a reblog and the ability to communicate a lot of information in very few words using hashtags. We also see the creation of tone in a toneless medium. In order to simulate conversational patterns in writing we SHOUT WHEN WE’RE SUPER EXCITED or *psssst whisper when we’re pretending to tell someone a secret while perfectly aware that anyone on the internet can read what we’re saying.* slash the coolest bit tho is that u can like ironically forgo all capitalization and punctuation just write in a weird speech pattern its ok everyone will still understand maybe it even helps read the text more quickly because nothing is interrupting the flow of words
In short, this dialect results when people who already share a language are given new tools. The result isn’t a butchering of English language but a creative experiment with it. Am I claiming that the Internet as a whole is operating on a level of postmodernism that would make Joseph Heller, Kurt Vonnegut and Thomas Pynchon seem like novices? maybe i am maybe im not u punk wut of it like who r u to tell me otherwise”
Olivia, my eldest daughter, caught measles when she was seven years old. As the illness took its usual course I can remember reading to her often in bed and not feeling particularly alarmed about it. Then one morning, when she was well on the road to recovery, I was sitting on her bed showing her how to fashion little animals out of coloured pipe-cleaners, and when it came to her turn to make one herself, I noticed that her fingers and her mind were not working together and she couldn’t do anything.
“Are you feeling all right?” I asked her.
“I feel all sleepy, ” she said.
In an hour, she was unconscious. In twelve hours she was dead.
The measles had turned into a terrible thing called measles encephalitis and there was nothing the doctors could do to save her.
That was twenty-four years ago in 1962, but even now, if a child with measles happens to develop the same deadly reaction from measles as Olivia did, there would still be nothing the doctors could do to help her.
On the other hand, there is today something that parents can do to make sure that this sort of tragedy does not happen to a child of theirs. They can insist that their child is immunised against measles. I was unable to do that for Olivia in 1962 because in those days a reliable measles vaccine had not been discovered. Today a good and safe vaccine is available to every family and all you have to do is to ask your doctor to administer it.
It is not yet generally accepted that measles can be a dangerous illness.
Believe me, it is. In my opinion parents who now refuse to have their children immunised are putting the lives of those children at risk.
In America, where measles immunisation is compulsory, measles like smallpox, has been virtually wiped out.
Here in Britain, because so many parents refuse, either out of obstinacy or ignorance or fear, to allow their children to be immunised, we still have a hundred thousand cases of measles every year.
Out of those, more than 10,000 will suffer side effects of one kind or another.
At least 10,000 will develop ear or chest infections.
About 20 will die.
LET THAT SINK IN.
Every year around 20 children will die in Britain from measles.
So what about the risks that your children will run from being immunised?
They are almost non-existent. Listen to this. In a district of around 300,000 people, there will be only one child every 250 years who will develop serious side effects from measles immunisation! That is about a million to one chance. I should think there would be more chance of your child choking to death on a chocolate bar than of becoming seriously ill from a measles immunisation.
So what on earth are you worrying about?
It really is almost a crime to allow your child to go unimmunised.”